🧩 Letting Go: Times of Transition

Maybe life is not a puzzle to be figured out.

“We’re all figuring it out as we go,” I found myself typing in response to a message. And it’s true, in some ways — every day, we’re learning a little more.

But I’ve found myself wondering if the further we go in our journeys (of faith, of parenting, of being human), the more we realize that we are not figuring it out.

Life is not figureoutable.

And maybe that’s the point.

Maybe the more we grow in our experiences, the more we fail, the more we laugh until our sides hurt, the more we allow ourselves to weep, to be moved by the beauty hidden in the weeds; perhaps we learn that all of this isn’t a puzzle to figure out.

Figuring it out as we go means lessening our grip on figuring it out.

The more we realize we don’t know about God the more we know about God.

It’s the kind of thing that makes your mind wonder and your heart wander.

As the tomatoes grow plump on the vine, this time of year is ripe with transition.

Newly minted graduates pack up their bedding and plastic dinnerware, embarking on new collegiate adventures.

Middle schoolers transition from being the sharks in the halls to the smallest prawns in a sea of older, cooler teens.

Sixth graders leave behind the comforts of elementary school for the stress-inducing world of locker combinations and varied schedules.

For the first time, preschoolers embark on a brave new world beyond the comforts of home.

The transitional tensions you live in are not mine.

But we are here journeying, figuring out all we can never figure out.

My dear friend’s eldest is venturing off to college out of state and texted me this morning asking if I had a prayer for her to borrow.

(I sent her “A Prayer for a Child Leaving Home,” “A Prayer for Graduation,” and “A Prayer for Letting Go” from To Light Their Way.)

Our eldest is turning 14 this week, and I can not fathom it.

He’s the most genuine person I know. I hold a swell of emotions for the incredible kid (TEEN!) he is. He joined our family through adoption and birthdays hold their own waves of grief that I can not make better but can only bear witness to. He has a chronic illness, and yet he’s at the top of the growth charts — something I praise God over and over for. He’s taller than me now and gaining on his dad. He can drive soon, and I’m thrilled for him and scared for what happens if his beautiful, growing Black body and trusting heart get pulled over.

I have not cracked the code. I have not figured out a single thing. I only know that this life has made me weep in the sorrow and laugh at the absurd beauty of it all.

We are not putting pieces of a puzzle together to complete a picture of all there is to know about ourselves, our neighbors, our God. But maybe we are the puzzle, pieced together by the One who we can never fathom but can always know.

Photo by Christopher Paul High on Unsplash

Every Season Sacred

Find reflections, breath prayers, shared family prayers, and connection/reflection questions for every week of the year in my new book, Every Season Sacred.

I just met with an amazing small group of men and women in Texas who met every week to pray and discuss the short weekly chapter. Whether you’re reading it alone, with your spouse, with your family, or with a small group, it’s a hardcover collection that is meant to be marked up and used in your actual life. (Send me a message if you’d like me to Zoom or travel to meet with your small group or church!)

It’s split into seasons and starts with fall. I hope it helps you bring some intentionality and hope into this transitional season.

As you think about the beginning of the school year and letting go, you may find the “Belonging” chapter (I’m talking a couple of pages) particularly meaningful. (You can find it in the fall section!)

A Prayer for Letting Go

You can find this prayer, along with 100 others, in To Light Their Way: A Collection of Prayers & Liturgies for Parents.

O God, in whom all creation exists

And who exists in all creation,

Give us the strength

To loosen our parental grip

And let go

Of what

And of who

Were never truly ours in the first place.

The days felt so long,

And now it’s time to step back

So the one

Who will always be so little to us

Can move forward